I know I shouldn't but I stepped on the scale, excited to see how much weight I have lost over the last twenty-four hours - 1.2lbs, bringing my weight to 154.4, 10.1 lbs lighter than when I hit my known heaviest weight. I have reached my first of seven goals.
It seems so easy, 10lbs in 7 weeks, or 5lbs in 6 days. But it hasn't been easy. I felt the discomfort in my lungs challenging myself during my 3-mile jog/walks. I endured the icky feeling of the sun burning my skin, the humidity sticking, and the feeling of concern for myself for placing myself in a hole I must dig myself out of or else... remain dismissed by many because of the way I look.
I have felt hunger. I am hungry now despite just having had my breakfast - 1/4 avocado raw, 1/4 white rice with 1/4 onion sauteed in 1/4 tablespoon butter and egg, seasoned with low sodium soy sauce and turmeric, powdered garlic, and cayenne pepper. It is not a joyful feast. It is a functional one.
When you are faced with the task of losing 50 lbs to restore your self esteem, the hurdle of meeting your first goal of losing 10 lbs feels insurmountable. When you reach that point, you do not want trust it. How much more weight must I lose to feel safe that the pounds won't return?
I started looking up articles to assure myself that not all of the ten pounds are water weight. Without a fat caliper, it is hard for me to tell but more than the ten pounds off of the scale, I am proud of proving to myself the ability to restrain from seeking comfort through carbs.
I would like a sustainable lifestyle change, a healthier relationship with food - enjoy it but not abuse it. As for the weight on the scale, I understand it is not the most reliable measure but it is some measure. And based on this metric, I am now only 6.4lbs from no longer being obese.
It is no small victory to be no longer obese. Target date for not-obese status is July 18.