Coming on the heels of Valentine's Day you might be riding high or disappointed. Relationships and the expectations that they bring can leave us feeling empty or full.
Humans turn to food to fill them up when they're empty. This happens when they're biologically hungry but it also happens when they're emotionally hungry. One area where many people fall short in their level of satisfaction is in their romantic lives.
Read below to determine if your relationship issues could be affecting your weight.
1. They don't provide sweetness, so you look for it somewhere else.
Not to be so literal about things but human beings crave sweetness in life. When asking for affection, lovers say to each other, "give me some sugar." In one study, rats preferred sugar to cocaine. The sweetness that you long for is love, tenderness, sex and affection. Oftentimes, when partners fall short of providing those things, people look to sweets instead. If you're missing the "sugar" in your relationship that could be causing some of your weight gain.
2. There's something you want to say but you stuff it in with food.
Expressing how you feel in a way that is effective is challenging even for the most mature and evolved person. Many people keep their feelings bottled up. People have even said that they "shove food in to keep angry words from coming out." If you're afraid to express yourself you could be keeping your unspoken words down with food.
3. You eat to keep them company.
Many people work different schedules. A woman might eat with her children at 5 p.m. and then eat again with her partner when he gets home from work a few hours later. Maybe you don't want to feel left out or you don't want your partner to eat alone. There are other ways to keep them company. You can have a tea or coffee. And remember, if you're not busy chewing, you get to do most of the talking while they listen and eat.
4. They have a different metabolism than you - and you resent it.
Your partner may be able to eat whatever they want and not gain a pound, while you simply look at food and double in size. This is unfair but a reality of life. People have different metabolisms. Don't use someone else's biological make-up to make yourself feel cheated. Part of growing up is realizing that we all work in different ways and need different things to thrive.
5. You eat to get back at them.
When you see it on paper it might not make sense but many people eat things to punish their partners. They know that their partner wants them to lose weight and they're not giving in. Eating is the way they assert their independence or punish a partner for bad behavior.
All of the reasons above are descriptions of Emotional Eating. When a person eats in one of these ways they're depending on food to make them feel better.
Put an end to Emotional Eating. Try a trial membership of the Emotional Eating Skill Building Program. You deserve to have the success you've been craving.
Dr. Roger Gould is one of the world's leading authorities on emotional eating and adult development. A board-certified psychiatrist, psychoanalyst and former head of Community Psychiatry and Outpatient Psychiatry at UCLA, he is the author of Transformations and Shrink Yourself. Dr. Gould is also founder of the Shrink Yourself online program, an effective, proven program that ends emotional eating.