6 Steps to Kicking the Reactivity Habit
By Sherianna Boyle
When it comes to losing weight, it is often a highly emotional process. Research suggests that the more healthfully we handle our emotions, the more our bodies fall into the same healthy patterns. If you have a tendency to get riled up about certain things, you may in fact be dealing with a reactivity habit.
A habit is a pattern of behavior backed up by a neuro (brain) arrangement, which repeats itself. Left unattended, habits have their way of turning themselves into personality traits, and if you are lucky enough (like me) to live with a teenager, they are likely to point it out. The good news is that habits can be changed, and as this occurs you get to develop more appealing aspects of yourself.
Here are some steps to help you along:
1. Watch Your Inner Story
Reactivity thrives off of the stories we tell ourselves. You know the voice in your head that says, "No one helps me" or "I am so tired of this and that." Reactivity is no different than walking into a noisy room, only in this case you are joining the chatter in your head. To free yourself, consider going to your imagination. See yourself in a wide open field or on a beach. This will loosen the reins on your story and increase the space required to create a new one.
2. Value Your Energy
Reactivity is an energy sucker. One of the biggest energy drainers is our attachment to our thoughts. When you react you give away the very same energy you could have utilized to restore yourself. Value your energy just like you might value a family meal, and you will be less likely to toss it carelessly into intense situations.
3. Embrace the Heat
Let's face it - reactivity can get a bit heated, as it is often a blend of emotions such as hurt, fear, insecurity, and anger. Emotions - when treated with respect - will actually clear themselves in thirty to sixty seconds, roughly the amount of time it takes to wait at a traffic light. Exhale your way through them by tucking in your navel and allowing your inhale to rise naturally.
4. Sink Your Judgments
Nothing heals from judgments. Reactivity is often a sign of an inner resistance to letting go of past hurts and judgment. To soften the edges of resistance, notice the invisible barriers you may have unconsciously placed around yourself. When there is resistance, vulnerability becomes blocked. As this occurs, your ability to feel dampens. Judgments sink from feeling, not thinking. Find a quiet moment, sit, close your eyes, and tune into your skin while breathing in and out through your nose (abdomen rises on inhale and pulls in on exhale). Do this for three to five breaths and notice the sensation on your skin. Picture invisible walls or fences as an ice cream cone melting on a summer day.
Reactivity is often an indication that something needs to be released. Releasing happens from your heart, not your head. Many people have trouble releasing because they are attached to the situation or person the memory is connected to. You are not releasing the person but rather the energy that you are tied to. The person is a reflection of this bind. Place your awareness on your heart center, take an inhale (inflating abdomen), and on exhale (navel in) release the energy from your heart coaching your breath (exhale) down into your mid-section, past the navel and into the pelvic floor. Do this for three to five breaths.
The final step to kicking the reactivity habit is to honor the situations or individuals which appear to trigger it. I say "appear" because it is likely they did not cause your reactivity - they exposed it. For example, you may react to your child's behavior out of the fear of what other people might think. To honor, you will focus your awareness on yourself. This allows you to disengage energetically. Dishonor happens when we keep ourselves energetically fastened to others. It is like hanging onto another person's life jacket while they attempt to swim. To honor means to let go. One of the ways to ... Continue
|1 | 2 Next Page|