3 Secrets to Attract Your Beloved: Date Your Body First!
By Isabelle Tierney
In looking at what you truly want from a relationship, I'd like to share a secret with you. I have found the greatest romances are ones where we are with our Beloved. Someone who truly cherishes nurtures and protects who we are at our core and we do the same for them.
In order to find this lasting connection you need to treat yourself with the same love and care you want someone else to treat you with and demonstrate you are capable of this level of relationship.
Here are 3 ways to date your body... Yes, you are going to date your body and ultimately attract a Beloved who will cherish you for life, everyday!
1. Get to know your body.
Your body is a land of marvel, of wonder, of enchantment, of glory! Mothers - can you remember the awe you felt when you were pregnant, knowing that your body was creating life? Do you know that your heart beats 100,000 times a day? That your blood has the same amount of salt as the ocean? That your bones are as strong as steel, but 50 times lighter?
When you stop seeing your body as an object to force into an acceptable size and shape, and begin appreciating it as the sacred vessel it is, your life changes in astounding ways.
2. Practice feeling good IN your body.
Your body is capable of so much pleasure! From the sweetness of a breeze on your skin, to the comfort of a warm shower on a cold day. You’re constantly given the opportunity to connect with pleasure, if you choose to pay attention.
Shaming your body is like putting a giant cement wall between you and pleasure. Can you say, "No, thanks!" and practice feeling good instead? Do it because you deserve it, not for anyone else.
3. Love your body no matter what.
If you think you have to lose weight, get rid of your wrinkles, or develop Madonna-like arms to be "attractive-enough", tell yourself kindly but firmly, "YOU ARE WRONG!"
Attraction has nothing to do with the way you look. Your first few dates after a divorce may leave you feeling unsure. But, trust me. You can be at your perfect weight and not attract a fly if you believe you are only good enough because of the way you look!
You are attractive when you feel good about yourself and your body. When you can appreciate the unique, astounding miracle that you are. When you can embody the pleasure and sensuality that is available in every cell of your beautiful body.
Clarissa Pinkola Estes, in her life-changing book Women Who Run with the Wolves, says it beautifully:
"There is no 'supposed to be' in bodies. The question is not size or shape or years of age, or even having two of everything, for some do not. But the wild issue is, does this body feel, does it have right connection to pleasure, to heart, to soul, to the wild? Does it have happiness, joy? Can it, in its own way move, dance, jiggle, sway, thrust? Nothing else matters."
Now, put on that outfit that makes you own the fabulous, exquisite, sensual, and powerful woman that you are, and move, dance, jiggle, and sway your way into your date. Have fun!
Isabelle Tierney, MA, LMFT, is a pioneering Eating Disorder therapist, life coach, energy healer and motivational speaker who transformed a 30-year bulimia struggle into an unparalleled reverence for the sacredness of the human body. She has helped thousands break unhealthy habits and heal their relationships with their bodies. Learn to love your body as a conscious, unconditionally-loving ally by joining the Body Beloved Renaissance.