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TheWildOne



Joined: 03 Sep 2008
Total Posts: 3

PostPosted: Wed Sep 10, 2008 8:22 pm    Post subject: Dieting When Emotional Reply with quote

My boyfriend recently broke up with me, which promoted me to start working out. And things are going good for the most part but I find that because I'm still upset, sad and a million other emotions about the whole thing. That makes its harder for me to not want to eat my problems away. That's how I got into this shape in the first place. Wehn my previous ex (before this one) and I broke things off, I was upset and started to eat. I gained all the weight that I have right now. I'm not even sure how it came to be but it happened. It's so hard not to eat when miserable. Any suggestions on how to deal with this?
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Sophie Hatter



Joined: 19 Jan 2008
Total Posts: 75

PostPosted: Thu Sep 11, 2008 2:52 am    Post subject: eating for comfort Reply with quote

I used to do that too. I even got angry at myself over it. Here I was depressed because the man I loved broke up with me (screamed at me, fought with me). Probably cos I was fat and here I am making it worse!

Depression has always prompted pasta. Alfredo is great stuff, warms you up. The perfect comfort food. Finish off with tiramisu and you can't help but feel a little better.

The first thing to do, you have already done. You have realized that you eat when you are miserable. That took me a while. To realize that I always wanted gooey pasta when I was sad. When you know you do it FOR THAT REASON, you can change the behavior.

You aren't hungry.

You don't FEEL like the food and taking a small guilty pleasure.

You are eating because you are sad.

When you are hungry your body will tell you to stop when it is full.

When you are taking a guilty pleasure you will take a little cos you know you are being bad.

When you are sad, eating makes you feel better until you are overfull and can't eat. Then you feel sick or angry or even more miserable.

So the best way to fight the urge is to think it to its conclusion. Don't just eat, remember why you are eating and realize that you are not hungry and don't WANT to eat. You are sad and want comfort. And do something else for comfort. Up to and including cuddling in your comfortable clothes, watching your favorite movie.

For example...

I am sad and want a ice cream to cheer me up. STOP. Why do I want the ice cream? Am I hungry (no) Am I wanting a guilty pleasure with a little of that nummy stuff in that picture? (no) Am I depressed about looking like a float in the parade and want to console myself with food? OMG! YES! Shocked

Will eating ice cream make me happy? Momentarily... Smile But not long enough! I don't need ice cream to cheer myself up. Long term it will make me feel worse! Mad

I want a long term solution! I'm going to go to the gym!

The nice thing about the gym is that exercise provides endorphines. They will make you feel better much longer than the food will.

This has worked for me and I almost never eat food cos I am depressed anymore. If I do, I usually catch myself and it ends up in the guilty pleasure section of my diet.

Hope this helps,

Sophie
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adriftnalone



Joined: 26 Jul 2008
Total Posts: 8

PostPosted: Thu Sep 11, 2008 2:57 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

exercise can help regulate your emotions and help you get frustration out, but it doesn't address the underlying aspect of this.

Is it a matter of confidence in yourself? Are you doubting your worth in a relationship? or is it something else?

Diet and exercise can only address so much. Maybe it is worth taking some time off from relationships for a short time. Get back in touch with yourself, have a movie night or three and/or go out for a night on the town with friends. As the pounds go, your energy and confidence will increase, and that's perfect ammo to reenter the relationship scene.

Anyhoo, tis only a suggestion. Your milage may vary.
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MissSally



Joined: 22 Aug 2008
Total Posts: 9

PostPosted: Thu Jan 29, 2009 6:11 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I know exactly what you mean! Except my ex was a cook and he really fed me well. Though, a little too well. Needless to say, I gained quite a bit of weight through the course of the 10 months we were together. We had quite a bad breakup, and it left me quite hurt and broken up. I think we can relate a lot, so if you ever need a shoulder at anytime, I'm always around, don't hesitate to message me.

And my advice for this is to buy a cute/sexy outfit and hit the town with the girls! You'll feel so refreshed and hopefully think "I don't need him, I look damn good!" haha.

*Miss Sally*
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cinderellakem@yahoo.com



Joined: 30 Jan 2009
Total Posts: 1

PostPosted: Fri Jan 30, 2009 6:43 am    Post subject: I can understand what it is to emotionally eat Reply with quote

I have been through so many diets, and it always is the same for me.. I tend to do well for awhile until i am in a emotionally fragile state. Then everything goes to Q for the night. I think if you can recoginize your emotions and not eat because it makes you feel better than, you will feel better for beating your urge.. We can all do it, it just takes a big amount of self will..
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Spike99



Joined: 16 Jul 2008
Total Posts: 201

PostPosted: Sun Feb 01, 2009 5:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

.

For me, I find its sometimes very hard to control my emotions. After all, I'm human - just like many others on this forum. However.... I've slowly learned to convert my emotional energy (sort of speaking) to physical energy. Instead of emotionally venting (like `blowing up` at others) or the famous "slow trickle" release like some, I redirect my extra inner emotions into physical exercise. Exercise like 4 mile jogs (every other night), 3 x around the block jogs with 3 lbs hand weights in each hand, kick boxing video sessions, extra sessions on my TM, etc. etc. I still may "eat" a snack to help further supress my emotions but only do so AFTER an exercise session. Thus, food going in (sort of speaking) replaces the caolories I just burned out of my body. Thus, I can eat but NOT have an increase in body weight. This is assuming my calories burned during previous exercise sessions is less calories I eat AFTER my exercise. Most of the time, I keep "burned away" caolories more then eaten calories...

Last night, I started on my 4 mile jog. I had lots of stress to vent, so I "opended her up" to 5 miles. Would have jogged more distance but with heavy winter coat and winter running shoes on, my knees were starting to pain. Thus, got home and burned an additional 500 calories on my "non-impact" Glider.

Perhaps this same trick can work for your "gotta vent the emotions" actions for your body as well. Might be worth trying...

Hope this helps...

.
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lc030183



Joined: 02 Feb 2009
Total Posts: 3

PostPosted: Fri Feb 06, 2009 7:25 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

A few years ago I went through a horrible breakup, it was the stuff that celebrity gossip magazines live for! He left me for another woman, it was bad. I eneded up not eating, and lost a ton of weight, but the cold part is that I got so thin it was disgusting. Now, I eat when I'm upset to prove to myself that I'm really not sad at all, when in fact I am. It's a horrible cycle, and I feel for anyone in it. Food really is comforting, but so are a lot of other things. You have to find something else to help you cope with your emotions. Do you have any hobbies? Is there anything you've always wanted to try? I can't tell you what's going to work for you, I'm barely figuring it out for myself, but I will say that whatever you find other than food to make you happy, you will be a million times more pleased with yourself all the way around.
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tpeeler



Joined: 28 Feb 2009
Total Posts: 1

PostPosted: Thu Mar 05, 2009 1:25 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I completely understand how you feel. I am just starting to realize that I do the same thing. PLEASE let me know if there is anything other then working out that has help, and when you are feeling down how do you get your butt up to work out?
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Josephine123



Joined: 26 Feb 2009
Total Posts: 6

PostPosted: Fri Mar 06, 2009 11:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Years ago... (really) my hubby left me with two kids and married a cute little blond. I was devastated. Plus, I had the responsibility of two children who were upset, and low level job, and was trying to pay a mortage to keep the kids in their home. In the few months before he finally left, I had gained quite a bit of weight, on top of being somewhat overweight to start with.

Certainly, the advice you are getting here is good. And exercise is a wonderful thing to help with depression and self esteme.

I lost the weight, actually fairly easily that time. But what helped more than anything was therapy. I couldn't really afford much. And at that time there was no mental health coverage with the insurance. I found a church related service that was not too expensive. After the divorce, they gave me a sliding scale rate. I mostly was in group therapy, since private was way out of my reach financially.

I was in group for a year, with just a few private sessions. It took me three years to pay off the balance. But it was the best investment I have ever made in my life. In three years I remarried and have been in the second marriage for 26 years. I went back to school and got a degree. Most of all, I learned to accept myself, the good and not so good, and developed some strong sense of self and an awareness of what I am doing - and often why.

As far as the weight problem, well I still have my genes, my upbringing, and the emotional response to stress where I want to eat. Life isn't fair that way, but you get what you get.

Hang in there, take care of yourself for a while. But if the depressed feelings don't fade - then please seek out some help.
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babybirdgirl



Joined: 24 Sep 2007
Total Posts: 201

PostPosted: Sun Mar 08, 2009 6:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Aaaaah yes, living well IS the best revenge! Let the guy go and live your best life now. You'll be SO much better off in the long run!

What would life be if we had no courage to attempt anything? -Vincent Van Gogh
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vnkulon



Joined: 10 Mar 2009
Total Posts: 5

PostPosted: Wed Mar 11, 2009 11:50 am    Post subject: Keep your head up! Reply with quote

Girl keep your head up! I feel your pain- I also have the issue of emotional eating which cause me to gain weight. Recently I lost my job, had a miscarriage/blood transfusion, breakup and car broke down. I use prayer, goals, rewards, and self-affirmation to help work through this.

"For I am fearfully and wonderfully made..." Psalm 139
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palmtreecutie89



Joined: 06 Nov 2008
Total Posts: 1

PostPosted: Wed Mar 18, 2009 10:49 pm    Post subject: I know! Reply with quote

I know exactly how you feel, sorta. I am totally an emotional eater. My boyfriend just left for bootcamp, he's in the air national guard. he's going to be gone until late August or early September! I can't have any communication with him except writing (if he has time to write me) until May 15 and it's the hardest thing I've ever done. I just keep telling myself that I'm okay and that I need to look good when he gets back. It's motivation to make yourself better!!
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jimwells



Joined: 18 Dec 2008
Total Posts: 2

PostPosted: Wed Sep 30, 2009 5:18 pm    Post subject: mr. right Reply with quote

you dont need him if he broke it off!! show him you have hope in finding MR.RIGHT and you all-most let him spoil that!!!! im sure your someone who if you try refuse to let him hurt you any more!!! keep your mind on happy things!! not him!! im sure you learned something through this. pray it out jesus loves to mend broken lifes!!!! all you have to do is belive he hears you ask for forgiveness forsake your sins as god reveals them to your heart!! just talk to him like your best friend!!!! he may be a good guy but maybe not mr. right. let jesus guidE your life!!!! in alllll things. Shocked Smile JESUS LOVES YOUUUUUUUU!!!!!!

kings kid
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