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kmtopper01



Joined: 22 Dec 2010
Total Posts: 1

PostPosted: Wed Dec 22, 2010 5:29 pm    Post subject: I'm such a mess Reply with quote

I'm crying just thinking about the past four years of my life. Everything went completely wrong.

When I was 18 I didn't like my thighs because they jiggled. I was so stupid. I was 5'9" and 115-120 lbs and I thought I was 'fat' because I jiggled a little bit?

Now I'm 25 and I'm almost 200 lbs. I'm completely disgusted with myself. I love stylish clothes but I'm restricted to one pair of blue jeans and my boyfriend's baggy shirts because they're the only things that really fit me right now and I just don't have the money to go buy more clothes. I can't even justify spending money on something that I shouldn't be fitting into, anyway, but the only cheap clothes that I can find (good will and salvation army) are ugly and baggy. The clothes that might actually look GOOD on me are $$$ and I can barely pay bills right now.

And food. It's a never ending battle. I love to cook, and everything I make tastes wonderful, but I just eat too much all the time. When I get sad and upset at myself, at the world, at my boyfriend, I go and have a 'snack' even if I just ate dinner.

I have dogs, and they keep me semi active but I'm also grossly out of shape and just can't keep up with their needs. I end up taking them to the park and letting them run each other out while I meekly follow them around to pick up poop or keep them out of trouble. Running with them physically hurts.

I live in a new city with some non-professional soccer and softball groups that I could join, but I am so embarrassed by the way I look. Dumpy clothes, fat, I desperately need to get a hair cut because I feel like I'm growing a mullet. I try not to go to social stuff just because I feel like people will stare at me and think I'm disgusting.

I just want this to be over with. I just want to be happy with myself.
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hunneybee1984



Joined: 05 Dec 2010
Total Posts: 18

PostPosted: Mon Dec 27, 2010 4:28 am    Post subject: Hi and welcome! Reply with quote

I have felt a lot of the same ways you have felt. I was always up and down, but my lowest weight ever was 127 lbs when i was 18. I am now 26 and 156 lbs. I have lost 7 lbs in the last 3 weeks now. My highest weight was 183 (i lost some when i went back to work) and i just felt terrible with that. So i know how you feel. I want to fit into cute clothes too. Im so tired of looking at certain clothes because maybe they won't make me look as fat. So anyways, your a good cook, thats a good thing. You should be able to put some healthy stuff together that tastes good! Me on the other hand, I hate cooking and just cook fast things. (baked chicken, is a staple now Smile Don't get down on yourself, nows the time to do something about it. Your only 25...you don't want to wait until your 35, 45, or 55! Its only going to get harder then. All i started doing was counting my calories, eating healthier and doing a workout video (zumba or taebo)Its a slow process but i know in a few months, I will be in much better shape. Find one you like to do and it won't be such a chore. Good luck! You can do it!!! Very Happy
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suzydo



Joined: 15 Sep 2010
Total Posts: 1

PostPosted: Sat Jan 01, 2011 6:18 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I can relate to how you're feeling...at the moment I don't want to leave the house as I think I'm so fat and horrible. I used to suffer from an eating disorder and have a weird phobia of dieting and tend to over eat just to stop me worrying. I think this site is great on supporting us with our ongoing battle x
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paulosoqui



Joined: 06 Jan 2011
Total Posts: 3

PostPosted: Fri Jan 07, 2011 1:32 am    Post subject: Cheer up! Reply with quote

You have great things to start with. You're a great cook and you're so tired about how the course of your life is going now. How about rebellion towards the direction your life is going??!. That bad feelings you have, could be the start for making a real change with your life. Somebody told me that it's not really how much you eat during the day, but the quality of food you eat. You don't have to starve yourself to lose weight. Totally the opposite, you should learn what to eat, and enjoy what you eat. Don't make this a diet, but make it a change in your lifestyle. It's so much better to split the food you eat per day in 4 or 5 meals, that will make you keep from eating so much at once. Starting you should use all the wonderful tools this site has, they give you awesome recipes (approved for weight loss), and you can start working out at home watching the videos, you can create a playlist so you can go along the explanations and start feeling great about yourself.

Also I've found that writing( here or keeping a personal journal/diary, can help you express yourself and take a lot of stress of your life. Here you can meet some awesome people who will help you to make the change, and you will start to see how on your own you were able to be what you've always wanted. So CHEER UP!

And start the change today! I'm here all the time, if you want to talk to somebody, if you're looking for advice, anything!

Good Luck!
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