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If you take a look at my profile, you can see that I joined two years ago. After a few days I just completely quit this site and gave up. I think over the years I kind of gave up on myself too. In two years I gained 20 pounds! I've never been more overweight, more unhealthy, more unhappy, more self conscious. It's so tiring to feel this way every day and let it consume me.

I ask myself how I could let it get this bad. I'm afraid to go out with friends sometimes because I feel like every one is staring and mentally noting how fat I am. I've come to find that even walking a few blocks makes me start to sweat. How could I let it get this bad?

Even now as I return to this site and write this blog post, I feel like it's pointless. I feel like I'm going to lose some weight and just yo-yo back/gain even more weight. I've been yo-yoing for years... I remember I had a saying to myself: "twenty-one-twenty". What I meant by that was, by age twenty, I'd be at 120 pounds. Well gee, that didn't really work out. I don't know why I've come back to write this. Maybe I'm trying to scavenge a bit of hope and motivation to get me started on a new diet.

If you're reading this, and if you're comfortable, do share with me some of the hardships you've had. Because I'm feeling like I'm the only one who is so self conscious and the only one who is constantly thinking that everyone is staring. Maybe I am a weirdo!

Okay. Now that that's out on the table, I think I should let it go and start afresh. I want to go back to the days where I'm comfortable going out, comfortable wearing clothes I want to ...    Continue

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@ 9:06pm ET on July 27, 2012 Hi, welcome back! I just started this site again basically at the beginning of this week. I also made a name on here about a year ago, thought I was going to start shedding pounds, and all that. It didn't work out that way. I'm 5'3" and 164 lb, and I don't feel good about it. I tried cutting my calories for about a week (by a lot), and obviously that didn't work. I tried this a couple times. I felt hopeless. I would definitely suggest clicking on the fitness tab and going to expert blogs, then clicking on Stephen Cabral. He really seems to have it all together, which I like. You can read my blog if you want, as well. There's a blog about my fitness jar. I hope to talk to you more :)
@ 6:31pm ET on July 28, 2012 I completely know where you are coming from. I have always been the chubby one. I have two sisters I'm the middle and they are both tall and before childre were skinny. I'm 5'2 and now I weight 232. I feel extremely disgusting. I will be starting a new semester the last week of august and am takng 6 classes. It's really hard to get started. And even if you start just walking 10 minutes then let that be your start. I'd just suggest getting out there. The only person that suffers from you not working out is you. When I first started, I felt alone and had really low self esteem. I still feel like people look at me like why is that fat girl trying to workout, but I just remind myself its not for them it's for me! After about a week I didn't care what anyone else may or may not be thinking about me. I feel great after a workout. I could totally be your buddy, if you need motivation or someone to talk to about your situation I will try to help
@ 8:32pm ET on July 29, 2012 Hello, and Welcome back! This is a great site for motivation and tips. And everyone on here is loving and kind, unlike what I have found on other sites. So, I think you'll do great finding what you need.
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