Getting my sexy back..

Well well well. So another boyfriend down or should i say another one bites the dust. lol. After six months of being with a guy that really didnt do much it kinda put a damper on things as far as working out. I was walking with the bestie but she is well on her way to having her baby so that slowed down alot. I think my main problem is again is no motivation and also I do good working out but I have to do it everyday if i break i get lazy. Ive noticed I will work out for about 3-4 weeks straight then I will get my monthly you know and hurt so bad that I wouldnt want to walk then i would take three days to lay on the couch and really enjoy my craving more than normal. I really need a good balance. I found my self last night looking around at my neighbors which happen to both be exes. ( I know weird...Longer story) but as i was sitting there I saw one ese having a random girl over (gross) and the other in bed by 9pm. I started wondering is me not being with them better for them. Bc everytime i get in a relationship I gain like 20lbs and I start feeling ugly and by the time i break up I feel it is about my weight. hmmm. mental issues..lol. The great thing though is as i was laying in bed i said to myself that is it. No i am not gonna wait until my best friend has her baby to start working out. Im gonna start now. I know she will help me grocery shop bc now i can just cook for one and just worry about me. I am doing great on the not drinking alchol. Im ready to get my track for the new life. And this time I will not absolutly not get a man after im fit and waste it all away. The next in line will just have to adjust to me. So here we go yet again but im motivated more than ever and will not let anyone stop me. Not even aunt flo. lol. goodluck to everyone and i will see yall soon on the fit side.