Today was a realization day for me.
I woke around 5 am with horrible cramps and sickness... Being a girl really sucks sometimes...
This time of the month is always more of a challenge.. I always want to eat everything. Now.. I am not as bad as I use to be. Now I just end up eating 10, 100 calorie snacks and then cant eat anything substantial. Today was no differnt. What sucks is, your not actually sick. So I am still hungry.. so I kept finding myself eating something.. I didnt end up overeating.. but.. I didnt eat any real meal besides one bowl of soup at around 4pm.
Anyways.. I was watching Biggest Loser and suddenly felt very upset with myself. This week I have been on defence.. not really fighting.. just kinda letting life happen. I felt horrible. And suddenly.. I couldnt handle it! I started exercising in my pajamas.. then I went in my room and put on my exercise clothes and went to work.
So.. tonight I looked in the mirror.. looked at my face for a few minutes.. Lately, I dont recognize myself. I look like me.. but my neck looks longer. My hair is shorter, my bangs grown out. My waist is smaller. My belly is flatter. My arms more toned. I honestly have to look a few times at my own face. Its hard not to see the old me. Its hard not to have the same habits.. the same behavior.. Its hard. Sometimes losing weight is more than just the pounds. Its seeing the inside of yourself.. coming to life on the outside... And today I felt like.. I met that girl for the first time.