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Joined: 21 May 2004
Total Posts: 11

PostPosted: Fri May 21, 2004 2:36 am    Post subject: Learning to say yes to me Reply with quote

When I looked at the consultation I was really wondering just how a quiz could know so much about me, but it really did hit the nail on the head and say that I'm unable to take care of myself because I take care of everyone else and say yes to everyone.

I almost cried when I read this! It's not always easy to get over the feeling that everyone around me has to be happy and settled and THEN I'm allowed to look after me. My husband is so wonderful and Fred wouldn't ever ever ask me to do things that didn't include my own well being or that would have me saying yes when I really mean to say no. How did this pattern start? I wish I knew. I guess I'm in for some interesting talks about this and some interesting times ahead. Fred is so supportive and is really my cheering section and suggested I join you all. So here I am! Hips and all! Laughing

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Joined: 16 Jun 2004
Total Posts: 36

PostPosted: Wed Oct 20, 2004 7:20 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

If we can learn to make ourselves and our health a priority, think of the life lessons we are teaching our children!
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Joined: 07 Dec 2004
Total Posts: 22

PostPosted: Fri Dec 10, 2004 10:57 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I really identify with everything you all are saying but honestly during the holidays I really really really have a tough time saying yes to me. I am run into the ground!

Every year I say I'll NOT put myself in this position and sure enough, once again I did it! I said I'd host the neighborhood holiday coffee, I'd do all the holiday shopping, I would do this, I would do that. How on earth do I even start stopping?

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Joined: 19 Oct 2004
Total Posts: 16

PostPosted: Fri Feb 11, 2005 6:30 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Even though I am still a people pleaser and will be all my life, I have come to realize that there is only so much of me to go around; that if I give it all away - there is nothing left for me. That happened. I neglected myself - my health, my emotional and mental well being - everything. It took a marrage breakup to realize that when I do this - I am unhappy and then everything around me goes to pieces. I need to say no - learn to delegate to others (they really can do things too), and take care of myself. This will then be reflected in all aspects of my life for the better. I am trying to train myself to ask three simple questions when demands are put on my time - (1) do they really need help - maybe they can do it themselves and just don't want to take the time to; (2) do they really need MY help or can someone else help and (3) simply - do I have time to help - what other aspects of my life will suffer if I say yes. If I can answer all three of these "yes" then I help. Otherwise, I force myself to say no or to delegate it to someone else. I have found this very liberating - although hard to do a times. Practice makes perfect!
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