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Joined: 28 Aug 2006
Total Posts: 4

PostPosted: Tue Aug 29, 2006 12:06 pm    Post subject: 6 Week Old Baby and 35 Pounds To Lose Reply with quote


I am trying my best to start losing weight which I have never been very good at. I got pregnant last October and weighed 183 pounds. I was severly sick for about 5 months and went down to 166 pounds. After having the baby I made it back down to 166 but now 6 weeks later I am starting to gain. I am up to 174. My baby is a good baby but it is still stressful and I don't seem to have time to eat. If I do I am grabbing something quick or snacking all the time when I can. Most of the time the only time I can really eat is when I am in the car and the baby is sleeping and I go through a fast food place.

We have also had a lot of stress with other situations. My husband's brother who was 18 shot and killed his girlfriend and then killed himself the day before I had the baby. His mom and dad are divorced and are both blaming each other and wasn't mature enough to handle anything so my husband was in charge of the funeral and everything. He also got there 5 minutes after his brother died and thought he was just passed out from drinking and grabbed him by the shirt and was yelling at him until he saw the blood and the gun. My husband's mom never came to the hospital to visit when we had the baby and wouldn't look at her at the funeral and didn't show any interest in even what her name was. She didn't call to ask to see her for 6 weeks. We just took the baby to her house the day before last. Also my husband's dad has been living with us since his brother died with his two dogs (on top of our four dogs).

Between worrying about my husband and the stress of the baby and the new live-in I am about to lose my mind.

I have made my mind up today that I am no longer eating out - which his dad wants to do every night. I am also no longer going to fast food places. I have cut out the pepsi and started drinking water. I am also going to try to regulate when and what I eat.

Could all this stress be a problem with my weight loss? I am so stupid when it comes to this stuff. I have never been able to successfully lose weight.
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Joined: 19 Mar 2005
Total Posts: 576

PostPosted: Thu Aug 31, 2006 3:25 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Wow, it sounds like you have a LOT going on. I'm really sorry to hear of all the tragedy in your life, and I'm sorry that even the bright and wonderful things like having a new baby are bringing you so much stress!

I'd like to say first, and before everything else, with the tragic way your brother-in-law and his girlfriend died, it's absolutely critical that both you and your husband get into professional therapy. Suicide is very hard to come to terms with and I can't even imagine how much harder it is with murder added in. You shouldn't expect to deal with these extreme emotions on your own. If your insurance won't cover mental health treatment, check with your local hospitals, especially if there is a University or "teaching" hospital in your area. You can get into group sessions and even private therapy at low or no cost with a little research. If you can get your father-in-law to go too, so much the better.

On to the weight loss... cutting out the fast food and dining out and soft drinks is an excellent way to start. It's going to be challenging for you to start building good eating habits with all the other turbulence in your life right now but just stick with it. If you do dine out, make healthy choices. It's close to impossible to do that with fast food but in a lot of the sit-down chain restaurants, if you take your time, you can order well and eat healthy. You can also check the restaurant's web site before you go; most have their menus posted online and many even have a full nutritional break-down so you can walk in there already knowing what you want to order. Optimally you should try to stick between 1200-1500 calories a day. Use the meal trackers here to get an idea of what your average daily intake is like and go from there. Eat lots and lots of veggies--- not just to lose weight, but to promote health. With all you have on your hands, you're an easy target for any germ that comes around. Get those vitamin C levels up, up, up and it might help you not get sick.

And don't forget the exercise. Schedule some time every day to get a bit of a work-out in. It could be as simple as walking (or even pushing the baby carriage) for 30 or 45 minutes. Or ride a bike or go to the gym or do some workout videos at home. You should try to look at this as part of your "me" time. A break from the baby and the stresses of life, and a chance for you to be by yourself and just relax.

And come visit this site frequently! There are some pretty awesome people here. You'll get lots of good advice and more importantly you will get a ton of emotional support. I didn't really understand how important your emotions are when it comes to breaking bad habits and building good ones, and working to lose weight. It is very hard to try to do it on your own and it's so much easier when you have wonderful people to lean on!

Good luck and don't be a stranger!

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Joined: 31 May 2006
Total Posts: 174

PostPosted: Thu Aug 31, 2006 12:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi. Patti said it well!

Many of us turn to food when we're stressed (and happy, and sad, and frustrated, etc. - we're emotional eaters), but we're all learning better ways of dealing with our emotions and learning how to eat differently. Keep coming back. You'll find the answer here!

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Joined: 28 Aug 2006
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PostPosted: Thu Aug 31, 2006 6:59 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks for the advice. I did manage to get my husband to talk to someone and they put him on Lexapro to get him through all of this. My family doctor also put me back on my Lexapro. They doubled my husband's dose and he seems to be doing a lot better. I haven't really seen any change on my end though.

I am sure if I didn't have the baby I would have put on about 40 pounds - I do tend to eat when I am stressed and all of that good stuff but I just flat out don't have time with the little one Smile I guess that is a good thing!

One good thing is that I lost every pound of my pregnancy weight. The bad news is that it is slowly starting to creep back on Sad
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Joined: 03 Oct 2005
Total Posts: 797

PostPosted: Thu Aug 31, 2006 7:13 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi there!

Don't worry about the weight you've put on--just be glad that you've made the decision to take it off. It sounds like you're making some really healthy decisions in your life, from seeing the doctor to making great choices about your eating. Put those in combination with this website and getting some exercise and you'll start to see some results.

Good luck and come back here often!


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Joined: 24 May 2006
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PostPosted: Thu Sep 07, 2006 1:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Exercise is a great stress reliever so I highly recommed it . . . and I recommend coming back here . . . lots of support and advice!! I love it here!


Don\'t go out of your weigh to please anyone but yourself.

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Joined: 13 Oct 2006
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PostPosted: Fri Oct 13, 2006 8:26 pm    Post subject: Almost same situation... just not as severe Reply with quote

Our situations are quite the same...

I too have a 6 week old baby and, not even 10 mins after the birth we got word that my husbands uncle was found dead in his home. We have a VERy small family, and when i say small, this one death was 1/3 of his living blood family.

I was struggling with a weight problem pre-pregnancy too... i was at 180 Lbs+. Durring my pregnancy, i only gained 15 Lbs and was feeling great and saw weight loss on my sides and legs, etc.

Now, 6 weeks after birth, i am weighing in at 189 Lbs Embarassed . The part that bugs me the most is my husband has been working out and dieting thru mu whole pregnancy and now weighs the same as me... but he is 5 inches taller with, obviously, a much bigger build. I am extremely happy for him Laughing ; he hasnt been in this good of shape since he was in high school... but it adds to my weight realated depression. Crying or Very sad Crying or Very sad

i find it very hard to fit in time to work out and prepare proper meals... more so on the exercise part. i have no motivation but want it gone! Mad Mad Mad
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Joined: 24 Jun 2006
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PostPosted: Fri Oct 13, 2006 9:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ptypopscl is so right. I've dealt with the aftermath of suicide in my work and it is very difficult from which to recover. Please don't hesitate to seek the help of a reputable trauma counselor. Your husband is a prime candidate for PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) since he found his brother at the scene. While you have this wonderful baby you also have way too much stress in other ways. If you have post-baby depression as well, a little extra help will definitely be in order.

We can all use help at difficult points in our lives. This is one of yours.

"Life has to be a little nuts sometimes. Otherwise it's just a bunch of Thursdays strung together." Burroughs
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